I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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