If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
