You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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