A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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