I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
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