Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
