i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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