margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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