If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
