This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
