Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
