I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
