hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
