well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
