think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
