do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
