I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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