I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
