i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
