Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
