I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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