so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
