Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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