1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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