I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
