I'm drive I can fine osifer
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
