oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
