I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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