im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
