sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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