I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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