Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
