omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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