ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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