I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh god it's open bar.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
