WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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