Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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