We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
