so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
