Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
