Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
