just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
