walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
