I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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