I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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