He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
