More tranny stories later!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
