Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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