Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
