it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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