my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
