You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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