I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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