I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
