Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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