I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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