my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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